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Bereavement

There is no right or wrong way to feel when someone dies. Everyone experiences bereavement differently. It is natural to experience strong emotions when we lose someone we care about. The feelings we experience after the death of a loved one are referred to as grief. When someone close to you dies you might feel:

Confused
Angry
Scared
sad
Nothing at all
Like you have lost control
Worried that you might not feel ok again

You might also feel upset about the loss of an animal or pet. Or when someone is still alive but you cannot see or talk to them anymore. This can hurt as much as someone you care about dying.

Try not to put pressure on yourself to feel ok straight away. With time your feelings will change. Some days the grief will feel as strongly as the day the person died but there will also be days when you are able to move on with other parts of your life while still remembering the person you have lost.

Funerals

Rituals can often provide comfort and can involve a wake, funeral, burial or cremation with a gathering or meal afterwards. A funeral is a ceremony for friends and family to celebrate the life of the person who has died. It is important to think about if you would like to go to a funeral. It might be helpful to ask a trusted adult to support you on the day or answer questions you have about what will happen at the funeral. If you cannot attend the funeral, it can sometimes help to have a say in what happens at the funeral. You could suggest a poem or song you think they would have liked.

Ways to help cope with loss:

Give yourself time
Write things down
Create a memory box
Plan for anniversaries or special occasions
Talk about how you are feeling
Talk about the person you have lost

Supporting children and young people who have experienced loss

The developmental stage that a child is at will have impact on how they understand and cope with the death of someone they care about. It is important to inform them that someone has died in a way that is appropriate for their stage of developmental to ensure they understand what is happening. Barnaro’s Child bereavement Service provided a framework for how children aged 0 to 18 years may be processing death based on their age:

How to explain Death to CYP and help them cope- Revised.pdf (barnardos.org.uk)