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Gender

Gender Identity

Gender identity describes how a person feels about their gender. Gender identity may correspond to your sex registered at birth, or for some it does not.

Some people see gender identity as a spectrum, rather than a binary system. There are many expressions of gender identity and for some people; the concept of gender is not relevant to their identity.

Gender identity is personal, and a young person will be the best person to know what identity matches how they feel. Young people can also feel unsure about their gender identity, or find that it changes over time.

Some young people may experience gender dysphoria. They may want support with this.

Types of gender identity

Some of the terms a young person might use to describe gender identity include:

Cisgender: this is when someone’s gender identity is the same as their sex registered at birth

Trans or transgender: this is when someone feels their gender does not sit comfortably with the sex registered at birth

Non-binary, gender diverse and genderqueer: these are umbrella terms for people whose gender identity does not sit comfortably as male or female. They may identify with some aspects of one or both of these identities, or identify with neither. Some people may identify as genderfluid and see their gender as a flexible concept, rather than a fixed identity.

Gender dysphoria

Gender dysphoria occurs when an individual feels that their gender identity does not match their biological sex. Many people with gender dysphoria have a strong, lasting desire to live a life that matches their gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria may want to re-affirm this through gender expression, or in some cases through support with therapeutic intervention.

Gender dysphoria is not a mental illness, but some individuals may develop mental health problems because of the distress caused by gender dysphoria.

Gender expression

Gender expression is how someone chooses to express their gender identity. This could be through how they dress, speak or act. However, how someone looks or dresses does not always reflect gender identity. People will feel comfortable expressing gender identity at different stages and in many different ways.

Transitioning

Some young people who experience gender dysphoria may decide to transition. Transitioning is the journey someone takes to present themselves as the gender they feel they are.

Young people may choose to do this at different stages depending on what is comfortable for them. Some young people may choose to do this privately or just with close people, before coming out in a more public way.

A young person’s transition may involve changing the way they look or dress. For example, they might want to wear makeup or shave their facial hair. Some people may change their name or pronouns. Transitioning does not look the same for everybody.

How to support a young person questioning their gender

Sometimes it can be difficult for you if a young person is questioning their gender identity. You may feel unsure how to help them, not know what to say to them, or how to relate to their experience.

You may want some support with managing your emotions and that of the young person.

Whatever you are feeling, it is important to remember that questioning gender identity can be a very stressful and lonely experience. They may feel like no one understands what it is like for them; worry about being accepted or about how their loved ones will react.

We also have some advice on how parents and carers can support your child:

Listen to how your child feels
Let them know you’re there for them
Encourage your child to explore and express their identity at their pace
Ask about pronouns and names
Be open to learning more about what your child is expressing
Join a support group or reach out to friends and family
Get support if your child is being bullied

If you know a young person who is transitioning – your child, your friend or sibling – remind them that you are there to learn with them and support them. Ask them questions on topics such as their preferred pronouns, and check in with how they are feeling. Remember, it is important to remember that transitioning does not look the same for everyone.

Help and support:

Home – The Rainbow Project (rainbow-project.org)

Cara Friend – Supporting LGBTQI+ People in Northern Ireland (cara-friend.org.uk)

LGBT Northern Ireland – LGBT Services Northern Ireland (lgbtni.org)

Belfast Trans Resource Centre – A home for the trans community in Belfast

Gender dysphoria – NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Support Services – GenderGP Transgender Services

Knowing Our Identity | Belfast Health & Social Care Trust website (hscni.net)

Parents/carers

Resources for Parents – Mermaids (mermaidsuk.org.uk)

Gender Identity & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds

You can seek support via the NSPCC Helpline if you are concerned about your child, and young people up to the age of 19 can seek support from Childline. Call free on 0800 111, emailing or having a 1-2-1 chat.